Once upon a time there was a young drywaller named Micah. He spent his days spraying walls, alone. One day, as he sprayed a wall, Micah, who had gone to church all his life, finally gave his life completely to God. "Lord," he prayed, "Please show me 'The One'." In a very near approximation to immediacy the heavens opened, the angels sang, and the light shining through the window illuminated the sheet of drywall he had just sprayed. When he looked at it, if he tilted his head just right and squinted, he could read the word Natalie.
Micah knew this must be the name of 'The One', because he had just prayed about her. He cut down the sheet of drywall, hung it in his bedroom, and began calling all the local churches in search of 'The One' (whose name he now knew).
His search was made easier because of a list of specifics he had felt led to write down. When he had started the list he began to despair. All the good traits he was looking for were too much for anyone to match up to. Finally he settled for simple things, like hair, eyes, and the way her breath smelled.
It took Micah almost two weeks to talk to all the churches in the area, but he still hadn't found 'The One'. Finally, which was when all the good things in his life happened, Micah visited the last church in the phone book.
As soon as he walked in, Micah saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life. As he walked closer he could see a sticker on her shirt that said, "Hi, my name is Valarie". Standing beside her was another, shorter girl, whose sticker read, "Hi, my name is Natalie." Micah's heart jumped. She matched his list exactly, except that she was shorter than his hopeful 5'2". But he could fudge on one detail. He knew she must be 'The One'!
Natalie knew as soon as she saw Micah that he was different. She didn't know if it was his buck teeth, or the way his eyes were sunk back in his head, but he wasn't like other guys. She too had been searching for 'The One'. She had just gotten back from a trip, where she had gone to find herself. Neither of her friends had realized she was missing, but that was just like them. After she got back she spent her time reading inspirational books to help her be content with her singleness. She thought about learning to cook, but didn't feel that it would be "redeeming the time."
After they met, Micah and Natalie began going out and dating with a purpose. Natalie's parents had some qualms with this, but when Micah showed them his piece of drywall they knew they couldn't get in the way of God's will. During their courtship, Micah and Natalie insulated themselves from temptation by praying the prayer of Jabez whenever they were together. This also resulted in expanding waistlines, despite their gnostic tendencies.
Soon they were married. The story must end here. If it continued you would see how difficult their marriage was because they didn't understand the value of hard work, faithfulness, beauty, or covenant love. Eventually, after many hard years, they learned these things and lived happily ever after.
