Recently, while walking to the far side of our property and back, I was overtaken by an overwhelming sensation of... nothing. The significance of this non-rise of emotions is that I used to get the biggest kick out of walking in the pasture. I could spend hours in the wood, studying the wildlife, and generally wondering at the glory of God's creation. I derived emmense joy from nature, which I have found to be diminishing.
The same is coming of music. I used to be enthralled with bluegrass and country music. I am not here arguing their qualities, only that they brought me joy. What caused the joy was the simplicity of life they signified, especially the bluegrass, which I one time lovingly described as, “Everyman’s music.” As I have gotten older, I found myself coming away from these joys, seeking instead a sort of kick. I craved different things, yet it seems I was never satisfied. Pursued, it would have been a destructive trail. What I have found, as I have grown older is that I lose the joys I had when I was a boy, and even a young man. I would pursue the new and older, and ‘manlier’ only to find the happiness I sought to have been in what I previously had. Somehow, the joy I sought was in the more innocent pursuits of my earlier childhood. This, in my mind, goes right along with childlike faith that Christ commanded. However, at the same time Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit of God, talks about becoming a man and putting away the things of a child. This presents a certain dilemma of maturing without growing up. I’m still working on this one, I’m not quite sure of all the workings. It entails responsibilities being fulfilled, but at the same time a playfulness. (I really enjoyed a talk given by Doug Jones on playfulness, which I would be happy to discuss in conversation.)
Interestingly, most of the ‘joys’ that fit this bill, of mature innocence, seem to be fulfilled with the local Church fellowship. Point in hand; this last Sunday many of us brought our musical instruments to church, and after lunch spent the afternoon jamming and playing hymns. There is an innate joy in making music with others, and that joy multiplies as skills mature. It is the same joy, increased with maturity. Yet there is no concrete purpose outside that joy. Granted, there are good applications, like the worship of God in heaven, but the pursuit of music, or any number of the arts, is not productive. It can be mature without being grown-up.
